The Feminist Battle

My name is Thanh and I’m a recovering…feminist.

Feminism is an old word. The concept is no stranger to us. Every one of us has been influenced whether indirectly or directly by this movement that started in the mid 1800’s. When Hilary Clinton ran for the presidency in this last election, she broke 18 millions cracks in the glass ceiling with 18 million Americans who supported her presidential bid. That was the biggest moment of what the feminist movement was all about: women power.

The feminist movement was and still is very strong in our society today. From it, I like many other women, became exceedingly independent and believed that I also have the same, if not more, capacity than my male classmates or colleagues.

Women today have conquered many obstacles and sit on any panel or board in any business, academic, or social institutions that was once only reserved for men. Gloria Steinem and her foremothers have done women great justice in fighting for opportunities and equality by turning walls into doors and walkways. And it is something that no women, including myself, must take for granted.

But I’m afraid, that in some ways, women have. There are some things that society did not foresee and bargained for in the rise of the modern feminists. And so we must take a moment to reassess the effects of the feminist movement because there are great loses that affect those who have no voice or choice in it all.

However great a woman’s accomplishment is in business, in her profession, like Carly Fiorina of HP or Marissa Mayer of Google or any other working or executive moms, you can’t deny the children of these powerful women who were raised in day orphanages they call day care. For every promotion a mother achieves in corporate America, one more infant is sacrificed to be in the care of by strangers, by day caregivers, for those 18 million cracks. Newborns as early as days and weeks old enter day cares because women are eager to go back to work because they have something to prove. And she doesn’t need a day off, she’s all powerful. She doesn’t need to bond with her child or show feminine emotions; she’s a feminist, equal to all men.

Single women, like me, enjoy our independence and opportunities. But I think the rules change when a woman’s decision affects other people. So mothers need to revaluate the real application of women power and the feminist movement.

Because god forbid a modern woman today to keep a marriage together and the household intact so kids grow up in a loving family instead of broken homes. She’s a feminist. She has rights and power afforded to her by her foremothers. What about her feelings and her needs? And everything that she’s ever wanted to be, do, and have? Well, she can do anything, can’t she? The feminist movement said so. Or is it a case of power abuse? For every woman powerful roar at the cost of another human being, she takes the feminist movement for granted. She sacrifices her children, her husband, and her family, and ultimately society. We know this because children reflect the values in our society. When girls trade in their self worth for temporary self esteem, society loses. When boys are raised as males and not as men, society loses. We need mothers, not executive working child bearers. We need homes, not houses.

And although I believe that a woman can have it all, it comes with a price. A price I’m beginning to see is too high to continue to pay for self indulgence: marriage, commitment, children, family, social values, moral responsibility. They’re sacrificed in the name of the feminist movement. Women win when we can make our own choices based on our own agenda, not on someone else’s agenda. The feminist movement gave women choices and that’s power, but empowerment comes from not having to prove anything to anyone.

In reassessing feminism, feminism is a single women’s game not a wife or mother’s game. Wives and mothers have greater callings than try to break household items like glass ceilings.