I recently read Lori Gottlieb’s Marry Him and laughed a lot throughout the book but specifically remembered that statement: “Feminism fucked up my love life.” It’s funny because it’s so true. It’s like saying, thanks for the power and equality, but feminism really messed up my head. Feminism gave women the go-card to be, do, and have everything that they want, one of which was to have Mr. Perfect, and not settling for less than Mr. Right. Waiting for Mr. Right who is absolutely perfect in everyway is the consequence of the having it all mentality. But, perhaps, as Lori Gottlieb also said, women confuse “having it all” with “happily-ever-after.”
Lori Gottlieb offered her own stories as well as many other familiar stories of women who after lessons learned, married him, the Good Enough guy that they were comfortable, safe, and felt in-love with, after, not before, their relationship took off. The book serve as a collection of hindsight from her dating experience and what she knows about relationship and social expectations as women age.
Having some dose of feminism early on, I can see the many weak points of feminism such as sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations, self-righteousness and self-fulfilling, Within the last few years, feminism is being heavily debated about, in regards to the effect and consequences of social life. Books like Marry Him is contributing to the reassessment of feminism. We should be seeing a shift in social dynamics as women analyze the effects of feminism.
Lori Gottlieb’s advice is to marry your good-enough boyfriend and stop looking for Mr. Right. However, her opponents remind women to not settle and instead hold out for Mr. Right and that being alone and single is better than being with Mr. Right-Now who is not perfect
I say, to hell with these two crazy platforms and stop letting books, writers, and editorials dictate your life. Take control of your life and make up your own mind and live your own life. Stop blaming the feminist movement, Hollywood, or your mother. At some point you reach an expiration to blame your life on anyone else, so while I agree with some insights from Marry Him, I don’t buy that “feminism fucked up my life.” Go get a new life.
