A lot of things I do in my life I keep from my traditional Asian immigrant parents. I know I have luxury, relatively of course to the underserved or unfortunate, but I am no better than anyone else. Having a life based in the US has given me tremendous opportunities and leisure to ponder on the impractical and psychological discoveries of my soul.
I always saw myself and my life as experimental, always taking on more than I can chew or taking large leaps of faith. My practical parents raised me and three brothers to be practical. We are immigrants, so it was expected that we would grow up, get a professional degree and pursue a professional career in a company that takes care of us. My immigrant father and mother believed in the corporate system in America, and is usually seen as the third parent.
I must have been adopted because my unconventional pursuit of life lacks the security that my father sought for his family in the land of the free. And so, to save him from much grief, the only girl of four children, I rarely tell my father what I’m working on, what I’m doing, or where I’m going, and what I’m planning.
I see life as one big adventure, to do things I haven’t done or explore things I never knew. And while it may seem exhilarating and unconventional, it also carries the consequence of questioning everything as I’m constantly searching for fundamental truths about life, love, friendship, work, business, and humanity. By conventional standards, I am labeled as uncommitted and unfocused. By unconventional standards, I have barely scratched the surface.
There’s a battle between the pragmatics and the searcher. Interestingly, I surround myself with the most pragmatic of them all: engineers. My friends are engineers, my brothers are engineers, and I used to be an engineer. But among this grounded group, I appear to be the black sheep, always trying out new school of thoughts.
The act of living is so silly. We are a silly, silly group of human beings. How can anyone take anything seriously? Since my inception of immersing myself in social media, I learned that it has created more experts, advices, how to’s, top 10s, should’s, and it all seem so silly because none of those thoughts are absolute, but rather, preferential, situational and circumstantial. I think people just fool themselves, and we feed on one another. The sun is good for you; the sun is not good for you. Read; don’t read. Be assertive; don’t be assertive. Believe in God; there is no god. Create good karma; get out of the circle of life and death.
I don’t want the illusory of life, I’m searching for life’s fundamental truths. What are you searching for?
